Lesson 22 - Comedy boxsets you must own

There's nothing like you and your housemates chilling out in the lounge, possibly nursing a hangover, watching a lovely little comedy boxset. Here's my top 5 pick of the best of British, because home-grown comedy is the best type of comedy.

The Office

The British comedy to end all British comedies. I'm ashamed to say, I've never actually seen all of it, but I came into my house on numerous occasions to find my hungover housemates giggling in front of David Brent et al. It's so easy to watch episode after episode of this programme without realising how much time has passed. If you don't "get" it initially, just go with it. It's easier that way. 

Green Wing

My brother and I have spent far too many hours quoting this genius Channel 4 comedy at each other. It's never seemed to get the recognition it deserved in my opinion. Maybe that's because I have a warped opinion due to the insane amount of quoting that goes on in mine and my brother's emails. Look out for "you bloody bloody bastard" as well as "you will never feel my super-vagina again" and basically anything that the character Sue White (played by the hilarious Michelle Gomez) says.

Spaced

Nothing quite says "student" like this sometime-surrealist comedy does. The early work of the makers of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, it's hard to believe that only 2 series of Spaced were made. Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Jessica Stevenson have all since become some of the most recognisable faces in British comedy on both the small and big screen. If you understand all of the pop culture references and jokes, you're a better person than I am.

The Inbetweeners

Since the first series hit our screens in 2008, the popularity of The Inbetweeners has soared, with a movie being made and EVERYTHING. Based around 4 teenage boys, this comedy will make you laugh and make you cringe. It's hilarious because the situations and characters are recognisable to any young person. We've all got that friend who is hopelessly in love with someone to the point where it's embarassing. (If you don't have that friend...you know that guy/girl you text every day...you're Simon, they're Carli. Go figure).

Gavin and Stacey

You'll have to forgive me if I gush about Gavin and Stacey, because I love it more than chocolate. It is beautiful. Written by and starring the wonderful Ruth Jones and James Corden, Gavin and Stacey brings people from two worlds (well, Barry Island and Billericay) together. What started as a little BBC Three comedy has gone on to win BAFTAs, an NTA and was aired in a primetime BBC One slot on Christmas Day 2010. It makes me howl with laughter and weep with silent tears. If I'm ever feeling a bit down or a bit stressed, I just shove it on and everything's fine, for a bit at least. I can't recommend it enough. Well, I probably can, but I don't want to bore you...

Chuck your suggestions in the little comment box below please!

Lesson 21 - 21 signs you've become an adult

I've been in full-time work for 3 months now, so thought I'd write a cheeky little post about the transition from student to adult, and the depressing realisation that I'm a grown up now...

1. You own a season ticket.

2. You own a security pass to get into your building.

3. Your alarm wakes you up at 6am every morning...

4. ....and you consider waking up at half 8 at the weekends a "lie in".

5. You own a suit.

6. You receive details of a pension plan in the post. (Kill me now). 

7. Saturday Kitchen becomes a must-see programme at the weekends.

8. You accidentally answer the phone in the same way you answer the phone at work. "Hello The Indepen...oh hi Uncle Paul!" (This actually happened).

9. You have an old lady who you say hello to on the walk to the train station every morning.

A couple of these = drunk (see number 10)

10. A couple of glasses of wine on a night out and you are completely wasted.

11. You have to arrange nights out with your friends weeks in advance.

12. A "quiet drink" after work is literally a quiet drink. It doesn't get out of hand and you don't end up at a  nightclub because you have to get up in the morning.

13. You go and see a comedy gig with your mum and you really genuinely enjoy it.

14. Staying in is equally appealing as going out.

15. You are disappointed to discover that Just a Minute isn't on Radio 4 that week.

16. You know what day of the week it is by what you're watching on telly, because your life is dictated by routine.

17. You bake shortbread biscuits for your colleagues.

18. The prospect of a decorating competition in the office fills you with joy.

19. You always know exactly how many days it is until the weekend/payday/the holidays.

20. When you go back to uni for a week, you spend about £300, mainly on buying drinks for your friends because "it's ok, I've got a job".

21. You intend to write a blog about becoming an adult about 2 months before you actually get round to it. 

Lesson 20 - tips for an awesome social

In my time at university, I sat on a hell of a lot of society committees. One of the big things about being on a committee is organising socials. I loved socials. If you're a regular member of a society, turn up to your socials because chances are, some of your subs money is going on them and they're a fantastic way of meeting new people with similar interests to you. Be yourself, try and remember people's names and avoid making a fool out of yourself. Your reputation as "the guy that was sick on the bus" will stick. True story.

If you're on a committee then - no pressure - but socials are often used as the benchmark for how good the society is as a whole. If you run a rubbish first social that no one turns up to, and those who do turn up have a rubbish time, you're facing an uphill struggle for the rest of the academic year. The key to that crucial first social is being inclusive, having a lot of fun and showing your new members what you're all about, as well as reminding your old members of how good they have it. 

Perhaps try a themed social. This year, I'm told that Livewire1350 ran an amazing Scavenger Hunt social. A scavenger hunt is basically when you split your society into teams, give them a list of photo-based missions and a disposable camera and send them on their way. If you get the missions right, it's a great way to get people talking to each other and getting to know their committee members. 

Pub golf (trying to down drinks along a pub crawl essentially) is always a good social but it's maybe not right for a first introductory social. Putting pressure on new members to down drinks might end badly and probably won't go down well with your Student Union. 

Concrete Pen Party 2011

I consider the ultimate social to be the Pen Party. Running a Pen Party in the second semester of term is almost a guarantee of success. By this time, your members know each other well enough to start scrawling profanities and dubious doodles over each other. Get your members to turn up to the social in a cheap plain white t-shirt, provide them with pens and send them on their merry way. Make sure you check with your final social destination that they will let your inky members in. No one likes being turned away at the door. 

Make sure you promote the heck out of your social. When a lot of socials are going on at the same time, you want yours to stick out and be worth remembering going to. Facebook events are an easy way of doing this, but providing members with social details when they join up is also pretty esssential.

Finally - keep it legal, keep it safe. Most Student Unions (I think) make their committees sign a set of rules and regulations for social conduct. Make sure your social abides by these rules - it's just not worth the hassle otherwise!

Lesson 19 - Getting a job

Northcliffe House - my workplace from September!

So here it is. My blog is 1 year old today, and if you read the very first entry you will see that I aimed to share my student lessons through my final year of university, with the hope that by the time my blog reached 1 year old, I would have found myself a job. Well, I’m pleased to report that I fulfilled my aim of finding employment and was offered a position at The Independent on Thursday 18^th August. HOORAY!

While this blog entry is called “getting a job”, I’m afraid I can’t offer anything but vague advice from lessons I learnt on my job hunt. I’d love to have come up with a magic spell that will make employers instantly want to take you on, but I’m still working on that.

Above all, I would say that making valuable use of your university years is crucial to making your CV stand out from a pile of generic others. If you can show that you have done stuff other than your degree and sitting in the pub then you’re onto a bit of a winner. Being a part of clubs and societies proves you can work well in a team as well as strive for success. Essentially, it demonstrates to a potential employer that you’re not what is sometimes portrayed in the media: a lazy student.

On the actual job hunt, use every resource available to you – university careers advice, job websites, recruitment agencies (that’s what I did) and, in this day and age, having contacts in any sector applicable to your skills can be the key to success. Unfortunately, if you really want a job, you can’t afford to be too picky either. Apply for anything and everything that you think you could turn your hand to. The job market should pick up in a few years, so doing a job that isn’t your dream until that time comes ensures that you are gaining valuable real-world experience as well as earning money.

If you get to that crucial interview stage, make sure you know your CV inside out. If an interviewer asks you about any aspect of your CV, you should be able to talk about it with confidence. After all, if you don’t know this stuff about yourself, how can they ever expect you to pay attention to detail in the workplace? Be confident about your abilities and make sure you can justify everything you say.

Unfortunately, a lot of the current job market comes down to luck. If you are more than qualified for a job, but another candidate has an edge on you, it doesn’t mean you are completely unemployable. It just means that someone else was more suited to that particular job than you were. You’ve just got to trust that a job that you are suited to will come along eventually. Don’t lose faith with job rejections – focus on the positives, not the negatives, as cheesy as that sounds!

Lesson 18 - A guide to university vernacular

Your vocabulary at university will change. Even if you don't notice it, I promise you it will! So you don't get lost in a melee of new words, I've put together this teeny-weeny guide just for you.

Fresher - first year student
Lecture - a session lasting one or two hours in which a tutor talks about/explains a topic

Seminar - a group of 10-15 people in which you discuss the content of a lecture, guided by a tutor

Tutorial - a one-on-one session with you and a tutor, often to discuss essays in the lead up to a deadline

Standard - average, about par for the course

Down it fresher! - drink all of your remaining beverage in one, first year student

Banter - something which is funny, often owing to the fact that it pokes fun at someone

LAD - a person who acts with "laddish behaviour" ie watches sport, downs pints. See the website truelad.com for further information on what constitutes being a LAD

Winner - something that is good, and makes you a champion of life

Living the dream - being on top of the world; at the stage of bliss where you're not sure if life gets better

Doing a TFS - going out on a Thursday, Friday and Saturday night in one weekend

Vegging out - doing nothing apart from sitting on the sofa/in bed and probably watching copious amounts of Come Dine with Me

Battered/trollied/carparked/wasted - drunk

SU - Student Union, sometimes used to refer to the Union bar

Initiations - AVOID. They're often against Union law and are designed, mostly, to make you vomit

Chundering/hurling/vomming - being sick

Rah - daddy owns a couple of boats, aforementioned "rah" is kitted out in Jack Wills and spends money like water. See the characters of Made in Chelsea for more, also check out the Gap Yah video on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKFjWR7X5dU. It's got nearly 4 million views for a reason!

Lesson 17 - Freshers' week small talk

You'll talk to a LOT of people in your first few weeks at uni. To make an impression, you need to perfect the art of small talk. 

In case you're in any doubt as to where to start, here are my stock questions for small talk/introductions.

THE BASICS

What's your name?

Where do you come from?

What course do you do?

THE UNI-RELATED QUESTIONS

What halls are you in?

What have you been to/going to in freshers' week?

What societies have you joined/will you be joining?

How are you finding uni so far?

THE ABJECT DESPERATION QUESTIONS

Have you come straight from school or did you have a gap year?

What's your timetable like?

Obviously, some of these questions are weaker than others. Just relax, go with the flow and if you clearly don't click, make your excuses and leave. There are plenty more people to talk to, why waste your time on someone who will only depress/annoy/anger you? Some of the questions will inevitably lead to you discovering that it is a really small world out there. For instance, a guy on my course who has now become one of my best mates from uni, lives just up the road from me. I'm talking scarily close - but I'd never met him before uni. As well as this, when talk between my new flatmate and I turned to our home county of Kent, it transpired that he had attended the same foam party as I had just the previous week. (Stop judging me for going to a foam party, you cheeky so and so).

If you get to the stage of adding people on that social menace we all love to hate, Facebook, the "mutual friends" feature can also throw up some scary social connections. Who knew that an old friend of mine from school was good friends at university with one of my housemate's best friends from home until the Facebook feature told us so? 

The seven degrees of separation really must exist...

Lesson 16 - choosing the perfect graduation outfit

If you've made it all the way to graduation - congratulations! While graduation day is one of the best in your young life, the lead up to it can be super stressful. You have to sort accommodation, tickets for your parents, whether it's appropriate to invite your nan/auntie/cousin/nephew and, not forgetting, your academic dress!

Graduation is really formal, and if you'reanything like me, knowing you're going to have to look smart is a nightmare of gargantuan proportions. Somehow, I managed to pull it off, and I watched an awful lot of graduation ceremonies with a variety of outfits going on. So ladies and gents, it's time to get your wallet out and start taking notes on what to wear...

No matter what gender you are, make sure you check the colour of your gown and the colour of your sash. No one likes a red/pink colour clash. That's just not cool. The colour of your sash is particularly pertinent when it comes to the finer details of your outfit. For the ladies; this means accessories such as earrings & hair bits. Gents: I'm talking tie colour.

You've also got to check what colour your gown is. If you've got a grey gown, a grey skirt/trousers will leave you looking on the wrong side of "thunderstorn cloud". My advice: no matter what colour your gown - ladies should go for a blouse/black skirt combo, and gents should stick to a classic suit. Do NOT try and wear your suit jacket underneath your gown. You will look like you have massive shoulders but in a "chubby chubster" way, not a "I've been working out" way. 

Some ladies do opt for a dress, but this can either be really right or really wrong. A pattered blue dress under a navy gown: right. A bright red minidress: wrong, wrong, wrong! Vis a vis shoes - make them match your outfit and make sure they aren't ones that you're going to topple over in as you shake the Chancellor's hand. You do not want to be THAT girl.

Being the helpful student blogger I am, I've found three blouses for you, suiting three different budgets. You can thank me later. 

SKINT - Matalan £8.00

STUDENT LOAN - Topshop £18.00

SHOPAHOLIC - Whistles £110.00

Lesson 15 - Surviving a festival!

So, you've arrived, your tent is set up and you are ready to go. Festivals can be daunting for any first-timer, so I've got some quick bullet points to set you on your way. Your festival is what you make it, so these are just loose guidelines and stuff I've learnt.

• Stick together. If you can stay with your group, do. Finding each other via the medium of flags and speakers while shouting down a mobile phone "BUT I CAN'T REALLY SEE YOU" is never fun. Of course, going it alone isn't too bad but it's a good idea to be with someone, particularly late at night. 
• See what you want to see. I've already said that your festival is what you make it, and you don't want any regrets about not seeing an act. Even if you have to stand at the back on your own, make sure you don't have any regrets when you go back to reality.
• Take a map with you at all times. Wandering around and trying to find a stage, especially at Glastonbury (which is proper massive), is unbelievably frustrating. 
• Dare to do something different. Particularly at Glastonbury, the music is only part of the story. There's so much to see and do, so why not try something a little bit out of the ordinary. Try some yoga, get a massage or get creative.  
• Trust your friends. If your camping buddy says they're going to see a band and you've got some time free in your schedule, why not pop along with them? Some of the best acts I saw at this year's Glastonbury were courtesy of recommendations from my housemate Olivia. 
• Take photos! I think every occasion needs plently of photos and festivals are no exception. Whether you buy a cheap digital camera or revert back to lovely disposable cameras, it's always nice to relive the memories. 
• Drink enough water. No one wants to faint from dehydration. I know the toilets are minging so you want to avoid them but I'm sure you'd rather hold your breath for a bit than be carted off in an ambulance.
• Don't get too drunk. I refer you to the blog on freshers week waaaay back near the beginning of the creation of this site. For a start, you don't want to be the annoying drunk person that everyone else has to look after. Second, being too drunk in a dark festival, in the middle of a field, when you're not sure where your tent is, can only be a bad thing. It might sound dull, but know your limits.
• Don't take anything dodgy. You have no idea what's in the things that you buy, or who is selling it to you. As well as this, drugs are illegal in festivals as much as in the outside world.
• Above all, make the most of it and have fun. You never know when you're going to get the opportunity again, so soak it up and make the most of every single second. Lose those inhibitions, dance like no-one's watching, sing at the top of your voice and laugh like a drain. 

The Glasto 2010 crew on the last night. Exhausted, but loving life.

Lesson 14 - Choosing and preparing for a festival

Going to festivals in those long summer holidays is an integral part of university life for some people. Festivals are a unique experience to share with friends, and something you'll remember forever.

You need to pick your festival first. One thing that's amazing about living in the UK is the amount of festivals that go on in the summertime. Whether you're into pop, rock, dub, grime, house, dance, hiphop or just want an all-out hippy experience, you'll find a festival for you with a decent amount of research. You can also decide whether or not you want to camp at a festival, or just get day passes/go to a one-day indoor festival.

You could, alternatively, choose to go further afield and check out a festival abroad. If you've got serious money to burn, Coachella festival takes place in California, and tends to kick off the international festival season. Closer to home, Benicassim festival is hosted in Spain every July. Remember, if you go for a festival abroad, you're going to have to factor in travel costs such as flights and transfers.

As I've only graced Worthy Farm with my presence, this lesson (and the other festival-related lessons) is based around attendees of the legendary Glastonbury festival! However, there are some basic "festival-etiquette" rules that are applicable wherever you choose to go. 

Your preparation for any festival is key. Make sure you have a tent that is going to keep you warm and dry. Getting into a damp tent is going to do nothing for your mood when you're tired and unwashed. Similarly, check that your sleeping bag hasn't got mould growing in it and pack wellies and a waterproof coat.

You also need an adaptable festival wardrobe that can cope with sunshine as well as the somewhat inevitable showers. A pair of trousers, a pair of shorts and then vest tops with a hoody to chuck on the top is a pretty winning combination. Make sure you don't take anything away that you would mind getting ruined, especially shorts/trousers. I chucked my jeans away at Glastonbury. They were muddy, ripped and would not have been socially acceptable anywhere but at Glasto. As well as this, pack toilet roll and wet wipes galore. The "festival wet wipe wash". It's not nice, but it's a necessary evil. Make sure you've got some sun cream as well.

It's up to you how much money you decide to take to your festival of choice. This amount will hinge on whether you're buying all of your food and alcohol at the festival and whether you want to buy souvenirs and so on. We normally buy just one hot meal a day and bring bread rolls, crisps and spready cheese for lunch. We also haul alcohol there, so end up taking about a tenner a day to live on, just to be on the safe side.

Queuing in '09. Tough times.

Getting to Glastonbury is by far the most stressful part of the festival. Transport links are really good, and the organisers have recently introduced "Green Traveller" lanyards, which give those who travel to the festival by public transport certain benefits. However, you've got to be prepared to walk a fair distance with all your festival baggage. The same applies to driving to Glastonbury. The car parks are, on average, a half an hour walk away from the centre of the site. You've also got to be prepared to queue to get into the gates. The first time my housies and I went to Glasto, we sat in a queue for a good couple of hours before chancing it and diverting down some tiny country lanes.

Lesson 15 - Surviving a festival COMING SOON!

Lesson 13 - Making friends using the wonder of YouTube videos

Yeah, there isn't really much of a lesson to be learnt here, I'll give you that. It's more an excuse for me to put some funny links on my lovely blog. However, I put it to you that sharing YouTube videos in coursework/exam time is a crucial part of your friends thinking you're hilarious. It doesn't even take that much effort - all you have to do is copy a cheeky link and provide your pals with some entertainment. 

The key to a good YouTube video for sharing is all about length and content. Your chosen video should be no more than a couple of minutes and it needs to make you laugh. No one wants a thought-provoking video, or something that's going to set the world on fire. They just want some mindless funsies.

To set you off, I've posted my top 5 YouTube videos for you to watch, share, watch again, and keep watching until you're blue in the face.

1) YouForgotBlueberries.com - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqEeP1acj4Y

Watch until the end for goodness sake. It's immense.

2) Jeremy Kyle - How to spell father - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zekd4iNru6M

Don't be too amazed. Just be glad you're not him.

3) Chimpanzee riding on a segway - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGUIpv-JxI

Yes, it's very odd. I defy you to not get this little ditty stuck in your head ALL day.

4) William and Kate - alternative "proposal" interview - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiXQHBeC2dI

Because Royal Wedding banter is still funny.

And finally, because no YouTube list for the modern generation is complete without it...

5) Rebecca Black - Friday - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

There's a reason why this badboy has millions and millions of views. 

Post your own hilarities in the comment box. I dare you.

Lesson 12 - Making the perfect cup of tea. I'm not joking, it's an essential student lesson

Recently, thanks to making friends with some proper tea-lovers, I've found that there's nothing better than a good cuppa to bond with. All you need is a kettle, mug, teabag, milk, water and a buddy or two. And biscuits. 

Obviously, everyone likes their tea a bit different. Know your audience. Ask your tea-drinking buddy how they like theirs and adjust your tea-making accordingly. Be considerate - you'd want them to do the same for you wouldn't you? Of course you would!

Unless you're a real tea enthusiast/really prepared, you'll be making your tea in the mug, not in a teapot. That's far too high class for an impoverished student. Also, who wants to be messing about with a whole POT of tea?!

Shove a teabag in the bottom of each mug. Boil the kettle and get some milk out of the fridge while finding a spoon and some sugar if required. When your kettle has boiled, pour water onto the teabag, leaving a good centimetre at the top of the mug (so you have room for milk). Depending on what teabags you use, leave the tea to brew for a bit. I use Quickbrew, so the tea is ready to go in a few seconds. 

Spoon your teabag out of the mug and pour in as much or as little milk as you like. Milly, George and I (that's us on the right, they're the aforementioned tea-loving friends) all like our tea on the milky side, but my housemates Lucy and James prefer theirs a bit stronger. If you have sugar/a sweetner, now's the time to put it in and give your tea a cheeky little stir. According to my Dad, you should stir tea 7 times anti-clockwise and then once clockwise. I don't really give a hoot about how you stir it to be honest.

Everyone knows that a good cup of tea is made better by the dipping of biscuits. Milk Chocolate Digestives come highly recommended. However, if you want to keep it cheap and simple, there's nothing like a good Rich Tea. For goodness sake don't leave that biscuit immersed in tea for too long - no one likes soggy biscuit floating about in their beverage. 


Dip, sip and have a good old chinwag. You've earned it.

Lesson 11 - Cheap and charming fancy dress

When you hit university, you're definitely going to need some fancy dress. Whether it's for a club night or for a party, fancy dress is inevitable. The key is, I find, to save and re-use everything. Most fancy dress items are multi-purpose. You own a plastic sword? Well, you're a pirate, a robber, a gladiator, a king or whatever else you can muster. Getting a bit creative and working out how you can re-use fancy dress items has been one of my favourite things at uni. Anyway, here's a series of my ramblings on fancy dress and why I love it.

One thing that you 100% need, whether you're a male, female or animal, is a cheap white shirt. The cheap white shirt can act as a basis for pretty much any fancy dress theme. In particular, you need a white shirt for the inevitable School Uniform night. Every club has one and in our Student Union, the Skool Daze LCR is the only fancy dress night where fancy dress is compulsory. You can see why - crack out a white shirt and a tie and you're ready- it doesn't get much simpler than that. Check out my very lovely housemates and I above. Three white shirts, three ties, three "schoolgirls". I've cracked out some retro bunchies as well. What can I say, I'm a maverick. 

Face paint/body paint is also something that you might want to invest in. Face paint can be the only bit of fancy dress you've got on - if there's a Pirate night, an anchor on your cheek with any outfit, and you'll probably get away with it. By the same token, face paint can turn a good fancy dress outfit into an outstanding and uncanny fancy dress outfit.

Group fancy dress is a wicked way of looking immense and knocking everyone else out of the park with your creative skills. One fancy dress outfit looks good, but a group of a few of you on the same theme can be pretty damn immense. As well as this, a fancy dress night is a great way to celebrate someone's birthday. Here's a big group of us, all toga-d up for my housemate James' 20th birthday. It was by far my favourite fancy dress night, and so deliciously simple. We purchased metres and metres of white fabric, everyone got a square of fabric for themselves and we customised it in our own ways. I went mad on the gold accessories, the boys went for leaves around their heads, and you can see some lovely tan leather belts going on. I reckon my whole ensemble, including cheap gold jewellery probably cost £9-£10. Now, a tenner might sound steep for a fancy dress costume, but I wore it all again last night and that lovely bit of white fabric is still very much in tact and ready for my next outing as a Roman/Grecian goddess.


I started this post by saying that you need to re-use items. The easiest way of using this is to go back to your 5 year-old self and have a dressing-up box. I've got a lovely box on top of my wardrobe full of hats, accessories, shirts with holes cut in them, coloured tights - you name it, it's probably in there.

So there you have it. A guide to fancy dress, by someone that loves fancy dress nights perhaps a little bit too much.

Lesson 10 - Travelling

Such is being a student - you're going to spend a lot of time travelling to and from uni and home. If you're having to travel by public transport, I've got a few tips for you to make your travelling bearable...

1. Book early and book online. The earlier you book, the more likely you are to get cheaper fares. You should definitely invest in a 16-25 railcard as well, especially if you'll be using the trains a lot. Try thetrainline.com - you'll usually get a pretty fair deal there.

2. When it comes to packing up your stuff, remember you have to carry it all. You need to be able to walk and, I'm sorry, 6 bags just is not reasonable. Streamline as much as you can, if you've got a wheely suitcase as well, that'll help. I carry mine all in a holdall that I sling over my shoulder and I inevitably have backache for a week afterwards. 

3. Leave yourself enough time. No one likes a stressful journey. Get to the station in good time and when you book your tickets, make sure you've got enough time to do transfers and that - running while pulling a suitcase is neither practical nor attractive. 

4. Equip yourself for amusement - MP3 player, a newspaper, a book, some work - anything at all to prevent journey-based boredom. 

5. If you fail to fulfil 4, there are still ways to amuse yourself on public transport. If you find yourself listening to other people's conversations, don't feel guilty. They're a tiptop source of amusement and you can rest safe in the knowledge that, if they were on their own, they would definitely be listening to your idle chitchat. Conversations involving children are the best - when in a confined space, kids are either really annoying or really funny. You're just gonna have to pray for the latter.

Lesson 9 - My guide to rubbish student telly

Whether you watch it on catch-up online, on your tellybox or just buy DVD boxsets, there are a few staples in any student diet vis a vis television. From trashy to trendy, funny to flippant, every student needs some downtime after a long day in the library. So, here's a short and simple guide to rubbish telly and where to find it. 

First up, and oh how it pains me to write this, it's GLEE. My housemates and I refused to watch the first series, dismissing it all as trashy rubbish that ruined our favourite songs. Now, we're hooked. Maybe it's because we caught on late, after Gleemania had reached it's peak, but the squeaky clean singing and cheesy storylines don't seem as annoying. Put simply, Glee is a funny, tongue-in-cheek look at life when you're not the coolest of kids. And I HEART Sue Sylvester. 

For something completely different, try EMBARRASSING BODIES for size. For goodness sake don't watch it when you're eating your dinner though. Your macaroni cheese will start to look like that guy's fungal infection. Gross. For some reason, this cringeworthy look at the itchy, scratchy, smelly and downright disturbing things that are wrong with people is totally addictive. Be warned, it can be guilty viewing though, as you'll find yourself thinking; "I am so glad I'm not them right now". Why people choose to get their inverted nipples/green penises/purple backsides out on national telly, I'm not sure. But I'm ruddy glad they do. Even if I'm hiding behind a cushion a lot of the time.

For the guiltiest of guilty pleasures, check out THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX. No one is really certain about how to classify TOWIE. It's not quite a soap, they're real people you're watching. It's not quite a documentary either, because some of the scenes are set up. My LORDY it is a drama though! The Only Way is Essex hit out screens in late 2010 and had a nation hooked. Bringing the phrase "Oh shu'up" (oh, shut up, but much more common and hilarious) to our screens, TOWIE has left us all asking big questions. Who kissed who when? Why does Lauren keep going back to Mark? Why does Harry insist on doing the splits every 20 seconds? And how on earth are they all that orange? Sit back, relax and prepare yourself to be completely involved in the lives of some random club promoters and big-breasted girls from Brentwood. Oh shu'up!

An honourable mention goes to TOTAL WIPEOUT, which can fill an hour of your life with ease. There's really nothing quite like watching someone run at, and consequently bounce off, some massive red balls. The show should come with a warning: you will definitely want to enter Total Wipeout, and most assault courses will look extremely appealing. 

Along these lines, if you're into schadenfraude (taking pleasure in the pain of others), JEREMY KYLE needs to be in your life. It's Jerry Springer, but Jezza gets angrier than Jerry and it's filmed in Manchester. DNA test results and lie detector results are the best; if you switch on and luck out with a "results" show, you are permitted to do a little cheer.

Finally, the mother of all student telly - FRIENDS. First aired way back in 1994, Friends is a timeless classic that has well and truly become the big daddy in terms of student television diets. There's always an episode on, it will always make you have a little chuckle and sometimes, just sometimes, you might shed a cheeky tear or two. Any man, woman or beast who gets through a university degree without watching a single episode of Friends deserves a medal. Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe transport themselves into student living rooms across the country every single day. And by God, do we love them for it. Guaranteed, you and your mates will be trying to work out which of you is which "friend". If you can't work out which of you is Phoebe...chances are, it's you.

Where can I find them?

Total Wipeout - BBC1 and BBC3

Glee and Friends - E4

Embarrassing Bodies - C4

TOWIE - ITV2

Lesson 8 - The hangover prevention

The big mumma of all cures

We've all been there - the morning after the night before. You wake up with a serious case of DMS (dry mouth syndrome), a horrific headache and your stomach is really not happy with you and your abuse of it last night. If you had a burger/kebab/cheesy chips, man are you in some serious trouble.

So, being the lush, lovely and really kind student blogger that I am, I've been there, heard the stories and am opening the door on the ultimate hangover cures. 

First up, arguably the most controversial of all hangover cures - the much fabled T.C., or tactical chunder. By the way, I am NOT AT ALL saying getting so drunk you're sick is ok, far from it. However, if necessary, the tactical chunder can go some way to stopping your hangover from being completely immobilising. Once you get yourself into a toilet when you're drunk, it's surprisingly easy to just bring some of it up. 

Second, get yourself some toast when you get home from your night out. You'll go some way to soaking up some of that alcohol, as well as give yourself some time before going to bed to sober up a tad. 

Next up, water is your friend. I used to make sure I downed a pint of water before I went to bed and my mate still swears by a couple of pints before he hits the sack. However, I personally found that gulping down water would send the alcohol shooting around my body, leaving my heart rate going nine to the dozen and my drunken self panicking that I was going to die. 

Finally, the mother of all hangover prevention cures. The one, the only, the ALKA SELTZER. My housemate Lucy got me onto this and I've never looked back since. These fizzy asprin tablets are sent from the Gods. Dissolve a couple in a small amount of water (they taste gross) and down it before you go to bed. Honestly, these tablets of beauty got me through 5 days of solid alcohol consumption at Glastonbury 2010. If you do wake up with a hangover, another cheeky Alka Seltzer in the morning will sort you out within the hour.

Oh, and make yourself a bacon sandwich, you absolute mess. And get on with your work.

Lesson 7 - Eurgh....what do I do when I'm unwell?

With all those germs floating around uni, you're going to get ill at some point. Fact. All you're going to want to do is leg it home to your mum. Buuuuut, uni's all about coping in the big wide world on your lonesome. So, here's my guide to what to do when you get a bit poorly. 

If you've got a cold, there's nothing quite like a Lemsip. I'm not looking for free cold and flu medication by promoting them by the way, it really is some good stuff. At first (back in the day), it came in standard swallow-with-water tablets or sachets that you could put in boiling water. Now they have invented one mega-tablet. You can either swallow them as you would a normal tablet or dissolve them in hot water. ALL IN THE SAME TABLET! It blew my mind. Crack out the lemsip, chuck on a DVD and feel sorry for yourself for a bit.

On the offchance that you actually feel like death, get yourself to a doctor. I don't want to sound like your mum, but the longer you leave an actual problem, you face it getting worse. A lot of universities have medical centres either on campus or affiliated with them, so they'll be used to students and all their moans and groans.

Feeling a little bit under the weather, but can't justify medication? Get yourself to bed! Uni can exhaust even the most hardcore of party animals and there is nothing like a cheeky sleep to sort yourself out. You'll wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world!

Oh, and sexual health checks people. Be safe, not sorry....and all that.

Lesson 6 - Searching for a job...

So, it seems that when it comes to job hunting there really is no time like the present. I started my job hunt at the beginning of the Christmas holidays, only to find that TWO of the schemes I had my eye on had September application deadlines. 

The Civil Service fast track stream is renowned for taking on a fair few graduates from different disciplines each year. Here's a quote from their site: "All schemes will be closing on the 30th November, with the exception of the Analytical Fast Stream which will close on the 18th October 2010". So, I only missed by about a fortnight, but it's still a right kick in the walnuts.

I have found that you really need to start putting your feelers before you start your final year, to make absolutely sure that a good opportunity doesn't manage to pass you by. Try and avoid that negative attitude that inevitably comes from reading all of the stories about graduate unemployment and get yourself into gear. There are schemes, internships and jobs out there, all it takes is time and effort on your part.

Another cheeky bit of advice I'd give you is to print off two copies of every application form. Your first is your draft copy and then you can meticulously copy every detail onto the second form. There is nothing worse than making a mistake on your form and not have a backup ready to go. 

So far, I've applied for 2 jobs, 2 training schemes and an internship. It's almost certainly not enough, but it's a start!