Lesson 13 - Making friends using the wonder of YouTube videos

Yeah, there isn't really much of a lesson to be learnt here, I'll give you that. It's more an excuse for me to put some funny links on my lovely blog. However, I put it to you that sharing YouTube videos in coursework/exam time is a crucial part of your friends thinking you're hilarious. It doesn't even take that much effort - all you have to do is copy a cheeky link and provide your pals with some entertainment. 

The key to a good YouTube video for sharing is all about length and content. Your chosen video should be no more than a couple of minutes and it needs to make you laugh. No one wants a thought-provoking video, or something that's going to set the world on fire. They just want some mindless funsies.

To set you off, I've posted my top 5 YouTube videos for you to watch, share, watch again, and keep watching until you're blue in the face.

1) YouForgotBlueberries.com - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqEeP1acj4Y

Watch until the end for goodness sake. It's immense.

2) Jeremy Kyle - How to spell father - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zekd4iNru6M

Don't be too amazed. Just be glad you're not him.

3) Chimpanzee riding on a segway - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGUIpv-JxI

Yes, it's very odd. I defy you to not get this little ditty stuck in your head ALL day.

4) William and Kate - alternative "proposal" interview - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiXQHBeC2dI

Because Royal Wedding banter is still funny.

And finally, because no YouTube list for the modern generation is complete without it...

5) Rebecca Black - Friday - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

There's a reason why this badboy has millions and millions of views. 

Post your own hilarities in the comment box. I dare you.

Lesson 12 - Making the perfect cup of tea. I'm not joking, it's an essential student lesson

Recently, thanks to making friends with some proper tea-lovers, I've found that there's nothing better than a good cuppa to bond with. All you need is a kettle, mug, teabag, milk, water and a buddy or two. And biscuits. 

Obviously, everyone likes their tea a bit different. Know your audience. Ask your tea-drinking buddy how they like theirs and adjust your tea-making accordingly. Be considerate - you'd want them to do the same for you wouldn't you? Of course you would!

Unless you're a real tea enthusiast/really prepared, you'll be making your tea in the mug, not in a teapot. That's far too high class for an impoverished student. Also, who wants to be messing about with a whole POT of tea?!

Shove a teabag in the bottom of each mug. Boil the kettle and get some milk out of the fridge while finding a spoon and some sugar if required. When your kettle has boiled, pour water onto the teabag, leaving a good centimetre at the top of the mug (so you have room for milk). Depending on what teabags you use, leave the tea to brew for a bit. I use Quickbrew, so the tea is ready to go in a few seconds. 

Spoon your teabag out of the mug and pour in as much or as little milk as you like. Milly, George and I (that's us on the right, they're the aforementioned tea-loving friends) all like our tea on the milky side, but my housemates Lucy and James prefer theirs a bit stronger. If you have sugar/a sweetner, now's the time to put it in and give your tea a cheeky little stir. According to my Dad, you should stir tea 7 times anti-clockwise and then once clockwise. I don't really give a hoot about how you stir it to be honest.

Everyone knows that a good cup of tea is made better by the dipping of biscuits. Milk Chocolate Digestives come highly recommended. However, if you want to keep it cheap and simple, there's nothing like a good Rich Tea. For goodness sake don't leave that biscuit immersed in tea for too long - no one likes soggy biscuit floating about in their beverage. 


Dip, sip and have a good old chinwag. You've earned it.

Lesson 11 - Cheap and charming fancy dress

When you hit university, you're definitely going to need some fancy dress. Whether it's for a club night or for a party, fancy dress is inevitable. The key is, I find, to save and re-use everything. Most fancy dress items are multi-purpose. You own a plastic sword? Well, you're a pirate, a robber, a gladiator, a king or whatever else you can muster. Getting a bit creative and working out how you can re-use fancy dress items has been one of my favourite things at uni. Anyway, here's a series of my ramblings on fancy dress and why I love it.

One thing that you 100% need, whether you're a male, female or animal, is a cheap white shirt. The cheap white shirt can act as a basis for pretty much any fancy dress theme. In particular, you need a white shirt for the inevitable School Uniform night. Every club has one and in our Student Union, the Skool Daze LCR is the only fancy dress night where fancy dress is compulsory. You can see why - crack out a white shirt and a tie and you're ready- it doesn't get much simpler than that. Check out my very lovely housemates and I above. Three white shirts, three ties, three "schoolgirls". I've cracked out some retro bunchies as well. What can I say, I'm a maverick. 

Face paint/body paint is also something that you might want to invest in. Face paint can be the only bit of fancy dress you've got on - if there's a Pirate night, an anchor on your cheek with any outfit, and you'll probably get away with it. By the same token, face paint can turn a good fancy dress outfit into an outstanding and uncanny fancy dress outfit.

Group fancy dress is a wicked way of looking immense and knocking everyone else out of the park with your creative skills. One fancy dress outfit looks good, but a group of a few of you on the same theme can be pretty damn immense. As well as this, a fancy dress night is a great way to celebrate someone's birthday. Here's a big group of us, all toga-d up for my housemate James' 20th birthday. It was by far my favourite fancy dress night, and so deliciously simple. We purchased metres and metres of white fabric, everyone got a square of fabric for themselves and we customised it in our own ways. I went mad on the gold accessories, the boys went for leaves around their heads, and you can see some lovely tan leather belts going on. I reckon my whole ensemble, including cheap gold jewellery probably cost £9-£10. Now, a tenner might sound steep for a fancy dress costume, but I wore it all again last night and that lovely bit of white fabric is still very much in tact and ready for my next outing as a Roman/Grecian goddess.


I started this post by saying that you need to re-use items. The easiest way of using this is to go back to your 5 year-old self and have a dressing-up box. I've got a lovely box on top of my wardrobe full of hats, accessories, shirts with holes cut in them, coloured tights - you name it, it's probably in there.

So there you have it. A guide to fancy dress, by someone that loves fancy dress nights perhaps a little bit too much.

Lesson 10 - Travelling

Such is being a student - you're going to spend a lot of time travelling to and from uni and home. If you're having to travel by public transport, I've got a few tips for you to make your travelling bearable...

1. Book early and book online. The earlier you book, the more likely you are to get cheaper fares. You should definitely invest in a 16-25 railcard as well, especially if you'll be using the trains a lot. Try thetrainline.com - you'll usually get a pretty fair deal there.

2. When it comes to packing up your stuff, remember you have to carry it all. You need to be able to walk and, I'm sorry, 6 bags just is not reasonable. Streamline as much as you can, if you've got a wheely suitcase as well, that'll help. I carry mine all in a holdall that I sling over my shoulder and I inevitably have backache for a week afterwards. 

3. Leave yourself enough time. No one likes a stressful journey. Get to the station in good time and when you book your tickets, make sure you've got enough time to do transfers and that - running while pulling a suitcase is neither practical nor attractive. 

4. Equip yourself for amusement - MP3 player, a newspaper, a book, some work - anything at all to prevent journey-based boredom. 

5. If you fail to fulfil 4, there are still ways to amuse yourself on public transport. If you find yourself listening to other people's conversations, don't feel guilty. They're a tiptop source of amusement and you can rest safe in the knowledge that, if they were on their own, they would definitely be listening to your idle chitchat. Conversations involving children are the best - when in a confined space, kids are either really annoying or really funny. You're just gonna have to pray for the latter.

Lesson 9 - My guide to rubbish student telly

Whether you watch it on catch-up online, on your tellybox or just buy DVD boxsets, there are a few staples in any student diet vis a vis television. From trashy to trendy, funny to flippant, every student needs some downtime after a long day in the library. So, here's a short and simple guide to rubbish telly and where to find it. 

First up, and oh how it pains me to write this, it's GLEE. My housemates and I refused to watch the first series, dismissing it all as trashy rubbish that ruined our favourite songs. Now, we're hooked. Maybe it's because we caught on late, after Gleemania had reached it's peak, but the squeaky clean singing and cheesy storylines don't seem as annoying. Put simply, Glee is a funny, tongue-in-cheek look at life when you're not the coolest of kids. And I HEART Sue Sylvester. 

For something completely different, try EMBARRASSING BODIES for size. For goodness sake don't watch it when you're eating your dinner though. Your macaroni cheese will start to look like that guy's fungal infection. Gross. For some reason, this cringeworthy look at the itchy, scratchy, smelly and downright disturbing things that are wrong with people is totally addictive. Be warned, it can be guilty viewing though, as you'll find yourself thinking; "I am so glad I'm not them right now". Why people choose to get their inverted nipples/green penises/purple backsides out on national telly, I'm not sure. But I'm ruddy glad they do. Even if I'm hiding behind a cushion a lot of the time.

For the guiltiest of guilty pleasures, check out THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX. No one is really certain about how to classify TOWIE. It's not quite a soap, they're real people you're watching. It's not quite a documentary either, because some of the scenes are set up. My LORDY it is a drama though! The Only Way is Essex hit out screens in late 2010 and had a nation hooked. Bringing the phrase "Oh shu'up" (oh, shut up, but much more common and hilarious) to our screens, TOWIE has left us all asking big questions. Who kissed who when? Why does Lauren keep going back to Mark? Why does Harry insist on doing the splits every 20 seconds? And how on earth are they all that orange? Sit back, relax and prepare yourself to be completely involved in the lives of some random club promoters and big-breasted girls from Brentwood. Oh shu'up!

An honourable mention goes to TOTAL WIPEOUT, which can fill an hour of your life with ease. There's really nothing quite like watching someone run at, and consequently bounce off, some massive red balls. The show should come with a warning: you will definitely want to enter Total Wipeout, and most assault courses will look extremely appealing. 

Along these lines, if you're into schadenfraude (taking pleasure in the pain of others), JEREMY KYLE needs to be in your life. It's Jerry Springer, but Jezza gets angrier than Jerry and it's filmed in Manchester. DNA test results and lie detector results are the best; if you switch on and luck out with a "results" show, you are permitted to do a little cheer.

Finally, the mother of all student telly - FRIENDS. First aired way back in 1994, Friends is a timeless classic that has well and truly become the big daddy in terms of student television diets. There's always an episode on, it will always make you have a little chuckle and sometimes, just sometimes, you might shed a cheeky tear or two. Any man, woman or beast who gets through a university degree without watching a single episode of Friends deserves a medal. Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe transport themselves into student living rooms across the country every single day. And by God, do we love them for it. Guaranteed, you and your mates will be trying to work out which of you is which "friend". If you can't work out which of you is Phoebe...chances are, it's you.

Where can I find them?

Total Wipeout - BBC1 and BBC3

Glee and Friends - E4

Embarrassing Bodies - C4

TOWIE - ITV2

Lesson 8 - The hangover prevention

The big mumma of all cures

We've all been there - the morning after the night before. You wake up with a serious case of DMS (dry mouth syndrome), a horrific headache and your stomach is really not happy with you and your abuse of it last night. If you had a burger/kebab/cheesy chips, man are you in some serious trouble.

So, being the lush, lovely and really kind student blogger that I am, I've been there, heard the stories and am opening the door on the ultimate hangover cures. 

First up, arguably the most controversial of all hangover cures - the much fabled T.C., or tactical chunder. By the way, I am NOT AT ALL saying getting so drunk you're sick is ok, far from it. However, if necessary, the tactical chunder can go some way to stopping your hangover from being completely immobilising. Once you get yourself into a toilet when you're drunk, it's surprisingly easy to just bring some of it up. 

Second, get yourself some toast when you get home from your night out. You'll go some way to soaking up some of that alcohol, as well as give yourself some time before going to bed to sober up a tad. 

Next up, water is your friend. I used to make sure I downed a pint of water before I went to bed and my mate still swears by a couple of pints before he hits the sack. However, I personally found that gulping down water would send the alcohol shooting around my body, leaving my heart rate going nine to the dozen and my drunken self panicking that I was going to die. 

Finally, the mother of all hangover prevention cures. The one, the only, the ALKA SELTZER. My housemate Lucy got me onto this and I've never looked back since. These fizzy asprin tablets are sent from the Gods. Dissolve a couple in a small amount of water (they taste gross) and down it before you go to bed. Honestly, these tablets of beauty got me through 5 days of solid alcohol consumption at Glastonbury 2010. If you do wake up with a hangover, another cheeky Alka Seltzer in the morning will sort you out within the hour.

Oh, and make yourself a bacon sandwich, you absolute mess. And get on with your work.

Lesson 7 - Eurgh....what do I do when I'm unwell?

With all those germs floating around uni, you're going to get ill at some point. Fact. All you're going to want to do is leg it home to your mum. Buuuuut, uni's all about coping in the big wide world on your lonesome. So, here's my guide to what to do when you get a bit poorly. 

If you've got a cold, there's nothing quite like a Lemsip. I'm not looking for free cold and flu medication by promoting them by the way, it really is some good stuff. At first (back in the day), it came in standard swallow-with-water tablets or sachets that you could put in boiling water. Now they have invented one mega-tablet. You can either swallow them as you would a normal tablet or dissolve them in hot water. ALL IN THE SAME TABLET! It blew my mind. Crack out the lemsip, chuck on a DVD and feel sorry for yourself for a bit.

On the offchance that you actually feel like death, get yourself to a doctor. I don't want to sound like your mum, but the longer you leave an actual problem, you face it getting worse. A lot of universities have medical centres either on campus or affiliated with them, so they'll be used to students and all their moans and groans.

Feeling a little bit under the weather, but can't justify medication? Get yourself to bed! Uni can exhaust even the most hardcore of party animals and there is nothing like a cheeky sleep to sort yourself out. You'll wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world!

Oh, and sexual health checks people. Be safe, not sorry....and all that.